Hi otherjohn,
well i normally copy the menu2 control code from the sidebar.ss include on the blackcandy theme then adapt it from there with regards to how i want it to look, see below.
<ul id="Menu2">
<% control CustomMenu(main-menu) %>
<% if Children %>
<li class="$LinkingMode"><a href="$Link" title="Go to the $Title.XML page" class="$LinkingMode levela"><span><em>$MenuTitle.XML</em></span></a>
<% else %>
<li><a href="$Link" title="Go to the $Title.XML page" class="$LinkingMode levela"><span><em>$MenuTitle.XML</em></span></a>
<% end_if %>
<% if LinkOrSection = section %>
<% if Children %>
<ul class="sub">
<li>
<ul >
<% control Children %>
<li><a href="$Link" title="Go to the $Title.XML page" class="$LinkingMode levelb"><span><em>$MenuTitle.XML</em></span></a></li>
<% end_control %>
</ul>
</li>
</ul>
<% end_if %>
<% end_if %>
</li>
<% end_control %>
Hope this helps.
Mick